Foolish Beat

                                        Another farewell.

Aiming for better opportunities, go for greener pastures and expand the horizon of the hidden capabilities inside oneself.

Losing another close friend at the working place & lacking the extra laughters and companion during the short lunch hour. Well, actually..while writing this, heard another friend, SK just tendered.

Well, time in constant transition, always on the move, always change, in brevity…..all good things come to an end at least in the working place. Things are bloody stress and annoying at work, things that keeps us sane in the fast track are good friends who help each other and who provides laughs to keep us smile and release those stress. Those nice moments slowly fading away. Just hold on to the good memories in our heart and always keep in touch.

Dearest Janet, please stay for a while longer can?.

                           All the very best Happy Feet & Scott !

The past two weeks had been so strained.

Sometimes, when unexpected things just happened, our minds felt so drained.

All the while, I thought I’m so prepared of whatever may comes. Thought I can handle it so well. But when it’s approaching a closing, I’m surprisingly in a losing end of my mind.

I don’t want to lose my little piece of heaven but what options will I have?.

Dare not even give a glance, so scare of falling further and wants to avoid the torment of missing …….My happiness just slowly slipping away…

It’s better to just keep pretending for the sake of maintaining of whatever that had left. Just foolishly playing hide and seek of the emotional kind.

I will be going away soon to somewhere further for a working assignment. Desire to free my mind while I’m there.

I’m really so exhausted.

A piece of chocolate cake, a little piece of heaven. 

I’m starting the year 2007 with January’s job drunkenness,
February’s filled with CNY celebration hangover and the setting of 2007 goals,
March; in the midst of trying to achieve the goals and make changes,
 

April – varied challenges in a new job, new environment
& new friends.
 

May – adapting to mild confrontation of new tasks and
forgetting the past, to move on with a passion and to be happy. 

June – had a survival celebrations, partly relieved I still
survived the myriad ordeals in my life, had a ridiculously crazy time and mad
antics with my new found beloved friends, amazed that I have not really grow up
in a way my family may expects me to be.In a weird near halo occurrence,a month of `a little piece of chocolate cake’.

July – Faced new trial at family front. This time, somehow I
got used to it. Faith and prayer pulled me through.

Also a rather laidback time for me at work. A period of time
that I felt like a naive college girl. I lost concentration in the rat race,
mild feelings of guiltiness filled my soul but mild uninhibited liberation of
madness provoked my mental psychotic state and filled me with feelings of
undulated high. Maybe because I’m tired to be a responsible adult anymore.Along the ridiculous
madness, somehow I think I had met my little piece of heaven. Due to that, somehow
I became semi-nocturnal. I became scared and cautious. Despite all that, I am sane
enough to cherish his presence knowingly that fleeting moments passing us by quickly.

August ; the end of summer, September ; the beginning of
colourful Autumn, October and November;
prepare for Yuletide Joy in December…… 

                         Time sure flies..Until then, I’m in semi euphoria..

The other day I just lamented to a friend, that people always
leave and fades away from our life.
 

And somehow, out of the blue, people resurfaced. I met with
my ex-primary schoolmates from ancient days where we spent our primary geeky
playful times in a fishing town called Pontian.

It like been 20 odds years that we didn’t see each other.
 

Those who resided here in KL met up on 1^st Aug at
TGIF.

Anson; guess he has so much goodness in him that he tried to
look for us, the STMI Pontian bunch through friendster by searching `Pontian’.
Vividly remembered him as the urban boy from KL shifted to a small town and
humbled himself…

Ruben; now in the IT industry as so expected from all of us
of him. As he looked like one IT genius.

Isaac Aw; used to be so scared of him back in primary days,
used to be a big bully and now a serious globe trekker to secure big business
contracts.

Lam Soon; He’s in the sms cum IT business with Ruben. And seems a workaholic guy now.

Wan Chin; a serious career woman with 8 digit sales quota to
achieve. And still a true blooded Malaysian.

Hwee Lee; the sweet gal, in the Financial Industry , stay in
KL for almost 10 years but still unable to navigate KL roads well.

It was a great night to catch up with good food and tempting deserts. Everyone still look and
talk the same. And so glad the bond still there despite the years apart of not
keeping in touch with each other.

And me…still have the same smile, still leaving on the edge,
still having fun, still remember you all………..peace & luv always…..

nice song…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZsifzw5wiQ&mode=related&search=

First Time by LifeHouse

We’re both looking for something
We’ve been afraid to find
It’s easier to be broken
It’s easier to hide

Like being in love she said for the first time
Like being in love with you the first time

Again, my mind blank, lots of things to write about and share but somehow
for reasons unknown, I never manage to write. Until I do, here are some great
quotes from `Grey’s Anatomy’ that I would love to share…

—————————————-Meredith Grey: A couple of hundred
years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success.
Never leave that till tomorrow, he said, which you can do today. This is the
man who discovered electricity. You think more people would listen to what he
had to say. I don’t know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I’d have
to say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection,
sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you’re wrong?
What if you’re making a mistake you can’t undo? The early bird catches the
worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can’t pretend
we hadn’t been told. We’ve all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers,
heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets
urging us to seize the day. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We
have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to
sweep today’s possibility under tomorrow’s rug until we can’t anymore. Until we
finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin really meant.

And one of my favourite quotes;

“ That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than
sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never
trying.”

My thoughts : Sometimes, oblivion is bliss, or maybe fear factors in my
reluctance to know more as I’m not ready for any disappointments. Truth can set
me free but the truth can be hurting as well. Being oblivion doesn’t mean I
wonder from the truth,though.It just mean I don’t want to know. .Friends had
said that’s equals to running from realities.

Well,that’s just me ; a self-confessed escapist.

Since I’m quite a `Grey’s Anatomy’ junkie, and always feel kinda inspired by
their quotes in the show, I would like to put some of the quotes here and then
expressed my thoughts at each of them.

Starting with this one by the pretty character : Meredith Grey

Meredith Grey: At the end of the day faith is a funny thing. It turns up
when you don’t really expect it. Its like one day you realize that the fairy
tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not
be a castle. And its not so important happy ever after, just that its happy
right now. See once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you ,
and once in a while people may even take your breath away.

My thoughts : Faith is essential for me to have hope. And with faith, I had
miracles came my way before, beautiful miracles. I never cease believe that
miracles shall always happen in my life.Amen.

For happily ever after…….I had lived my life believing a lot of things are
just temporary, nothing seems to last forever, I live in the present, I cherish
the present moments, I got hold of it always wishing it will never end, and I seize
that moments with unrelenting urgency always don’t want to let go. Feel the
present,as we never know what the future lies in front of us.

Yes, people always seem to surprise us, people we meet and love, they do tend
to take my breath away especially from someone special recently. I pray I have the guts to feel again…….

It’s a celebration of sorts…me, still seem like wide eye college girl looking forward for the Saturday party. My friends, all much younger than me seem relieve that somehow there’s a party to look forward to. Or in reality, we need to be together for a while outside the office!.

We keeps talking about it, what to wear, what to do….gosh..

Yeah, just gather together to celebrate my birthday and also saying farewell to some who will be leaving to work in other companies.

I just worked for two months plus in this event company and only knew them for a while.

Despite that, we had been sharing a lot of laughs and hanging out so much during those
short lunch breaks. And truthfully, when things are tough at work, I really look forward to lunch break, meet them and their quips make me smile.

Well, as I always say, nothing last forever.

For those who are leaving : Mandy & Rachel…have a rocking time at your new job and keep in touch always.

Que Sera Sera…..what will be , will be………….

Before I reach the place, before that moment comes, I had secretly wish to see

beautiful fireworks. Just wanting to see the multi-colour display , it somehow brings me

joy.

And it came, to my awe.

The fireworks display had been so beautiful and it actually took quite a while to end.

A lot of the clients and the restaurant crew itself was asking what’s was the occasion.

Nobody really knows.

But I thank God my small desire was fulfilled. Maybe that’s God’s present or sign for me, wanting to reassure me everything is alright.

Seems so surreal……..blessed birthday to me……….

In life there are moments

 Moments to cherish moments to let go moments to laugh
moments to cry

Varied of moments, either to remember or to forget.

I mused to my best friend, VT recently after reading her
friend’s blog. In the blog, he was saying how there came a time when things
just seem empty and hopeless. Yeah, most of us had undergone that grey or dark tunnel
in some points in our life and maybe some still walking through that obscure
path.

Recently, VT was also facing few hard obstacles. When everything
seem so complicated, messy and whimsical , she took all that in her stride and
faced it head strong. The reason being there are invisible things call FAITH
& HOPE.
 

Life truly have that desperate tendencies, a juncture where
we just stop and analyse the meaning of life or even being alive at all in the
first place. 

I never ponder that much sought after question (the meaning
of life) cause I never see the point of pursuing it when there’s no definite
answer for that mystery. The belief that implanted in me is that `we are just
passing by’, nothing is infinite, no moments seem to last forever and we only
live once. Whatever happens, life goes on, we are here to face up to moments
reality.

Of course I do know, to live is the greatest challenge itself.
There are lessons learned, there are dramas and there are the incomprehensible
realities that life is never fair.
 

Still, it’s a gift to taste the myriad moments we have,
happy, sad, suicidal, depressions. I gone through it all and still living some
of the (grey) moments. All our senses force to embrace it and entail us to
survive with or without bruises.
 

Till then, the moment of truth is that life will always
remain a mystery. I have no complains…come what may……as I have my cherished
moments that happily atoned
at my thought, mind & soul ,something that
cannot be traded for anything…in retrospective, life’s fair after all.